


The Legally Dead

by Gemi



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types
Genre: A warlock and paladin and rogue walks into a bar, Found Family trope begins, Gen, Later joined by a bugbear druid, One Lawful Good is kidnapped by Chaotic Neutrals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemi/pseuds/Gemi
Summary: One day, Tinkerella Gnome plans to be known as Tinkerella Goblin and she thinks that's very cool of her.Or; oneshots written for the D&D group I'm in, from the POV of my warlock gnome, Tinkerella.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 6





	The Legally Dead

Slugger and Tapper sit down on each side of her, and Tinkerella scowls and pretends she doesn’t feel them leaning against her. It’s pretty easy- Slugger may be heavy, but Tapper is missing an arm and it’s easy to pretend  _ he _ is just a weird lumpy sack rather than an actual person.

“So what’s with the human?” Slugger asks, her voice raspy and too grown. She’s not even  _ that _ old. It’s not fair, that she is an adult and everyone still forget Tink is, too.

“I don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout,” Tink sniffs, then yelps as Tapper pokes her in the side, “Hey! Stop that!”

“You didn’t let Lady Chiliana kill him,” Tapper points out, always smarter than Tink likes to remember, “even tho’ it would’ve been  _ awesome _ . We hate humans, remember?”

Slugger snorts.

“Maybe Tink forgot,” she says, and Tink scowls at her and her stupid, empty eye socket and cool scars, “Maybe she’s all- all  _ fancy _ now, travelling ‘bout.”

“Am not,” she defends herself, “Dawn just ain’t like other humans! He’s nice and, and useful and stuff!” And pretty, too, but goblins think other things are pretty. She isn’t supposed to think he is, too. He’s not green, he doesn’t have big shiny fangs or glossy green hair or bright, yellow eyes.

He’s a nice, plain human who Tink still thinks is pretty… pretty handsome. And pretty overall. But she can’t say that. She’s a goblin, even if she doesn’t  _ look _ like one.

“Useful how?” Slugger asks, doubt in her voice, and Tapper nods along.

“Well… well, he can heal. And, and other humans don’t bother us because he’s, um, there. And he’s… he’s nice. And got a big sword!”

Tapper cackles; Slugger snickers. 

Tinkerella is pretty sure she’s missing something, but it would be  _ real _ stupid of her to say that. So she huffs and pushes them off of her, and they let her, thankfully.

“Whatever,” she huffs again and gets back up onto her feet, “I’mma go to sleep, fuck you guys.”

“Just sleep in the pile with the rest of us, then!” 

“No,” Tink sniffs, “I don’t trust you lot not to, like, bother Dawn when he sleeps. I’ll bite you if you try!”

“You got such puny teeth,” Tapper mocks, “couldn’t hurt a lil’ bird with ‘em!”

“Can  _ too _ . ‘sides, I got a dagger and magic, too, so, like. No! And Sasha is real powerful too, I bet she wouldn’t be happy  _ either _ .”

That at least makes them settle down. Because Sasha is cool and got horns and red skin and that gives respect. Tink knew she picked a good leader, just like how she knows she picked out the  _ best _ human.

She sticks her tongue out and goes back to her- her group. Her trio. They’re  _ hers _ , which is nice. Her friends, her leader, her human. She doesn’t have to share them with anyone.

Dawn and Sasha are mumbling to each other when she returns. She doesn’t really care what they’re talking about. Because Tinkerella  _ is _ tired. So she flops down between them, in the mess of bedrolls they put out, and curls up after she kicks off her shoes. 

“What do you think, Tinkerella?” Dawn asks, all soft and nice and Tink yawns and peeks one eye open. He is looking down at her, waiting for a reply. He’s so  _ soft _ .

  
Tink blinks and looks at Sasha instead.

“‘bout what?” she asks, and Sasha grins and talks about which road they will take to do  _ The Mission _ for Lady Chiliana, and she calls Tink ‘princess’ and Dawn nods along and mumbles some corrections and Tinkerella sleepily listens to it all.

She feels all warm inside. It’s nice. 

“I’m fine either way,” she says, and snuggles closer to Dawn, because he’s warmer, but she also sticks her feet under Sasha to keep them warm, too.

“Alright, so we’ll go with  _ my _ route then,” Sasha says, and Tinkerella smiles against Dawn’s thigh as he argues against it.

  
She falls asleep listening to them bickering, her leader and her human, and Tinkerella is pretty sure she’s never been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Tinkerella Gnome - a Warlock of the Archfey, a gnome raised by goblins. 
> 
> Sasha Sleaze - a Con-Artist Rogue, a red tiefling ruled by comedic greed. 
> 
> Dawn Noonlight - a Paladin of ?, a human who didn't mean to join a group of criminals.
> 
> Ursa Major - a Druid of ? , a bugbear who have not joined quite yet. 
> 
> Lady Chiliana - a woman by Abyssal nature, faking being a goddess for Tinkerella's goblin clan. True name is Pandora.


End file.
